boyfulani'z mass-scan

mashed,bashed & smitten

As I promised, I had to let you in on what would become of me and my crew, for that retreat at the said boat of horrors. And, people, wasn’t it an experience? Am still nursing me hangovers though it happened a fortnight ago…ok, I lied, am just dying to share the experience!
Before I share the story, can somebody lend me a colt or magnum to snuff out some nuccas in the IT department? I have been thoroughly deprived one of my basic need and for this, someone ought to go down??
Anyho’ here we go…
The retreat. Ahem! It carried with it the moment of perfect happiness that has verily evaded me for some time.
Oh, and the most adrenalin-rushing moment! It happened…during my sleep. That sato… And it wasn’t to do with some raunchy thoughts or nubile company- men think of other things too, c’mon!
Apparently, it was the throbbing of a powerful engine that filled the chilly morning atmosphere- my eyelids, heavy as they were, lit up slightly as my heart churned at the thought of what lay ahead.
The fcking motorshow-cum-bikini car wash!
Ok after citing these rides i will post soon , I wasn’t as embarrassed to realize later on that it was actually a tractor that had penetrated my early morning thoughts!

Man and machine!
Well, I am not a fanatic of cars or anything, in fact, the thought and site of them, unlike many of my brood, never excites me as much- BUT I definitely love showbiz!!!!
Now, this is how it was to be: Mash Auto, Pulse (am sure you read that last friday but….) and some other companies, DSTV included were to host an Motorshow at Crayfish in preparation of the East Africa Motorshow in Dec…there have never been a much better coincidence- like loads of money, booze and a bloody warm beautiful mammal that has been evading your sharpest arrows, finally to be ensnared by your up to the ceiling wads of cash, smooth personality…bird man style hehe….and yeah, till you wake up coz u only half dreaming!
Only that I wasn’t.

Bashed
Our crew were a bunch of mr & mrses too goody shoes fellaz. Not that am is a bad boy, but I was just thinking outside the tent. It was a retreat, which would mean retreating out of normal lifestyle…get wild while keeping in line with the mission and vision of your ‘sponsors’. LOL.
See, they weren’t as boring but maaan, I had to fly and if inebriated, crrrrrawwwl out of the nest. Kwanza after my ka-proje wasn’t feeling me as much as I would have wanted to her believe I did. So much for randomness… Imagine, she even left me in the rain, wasn’t willing to be an umbrella- I literally soaked! Hand her the tissue for me tsk tsk…But I aint one to let such shortcomings, however subtle, infiltrate my fun-loving-jolly-happy-go-lucky matrix.

On the first night, that is Friday we set out for ‘ma-roundi mwenda around this ultimate get away…We ended up at what I like to call the greamhouze- ok, be not shaken, it is this club house, built in the format of a greenhouse and rightly named so. Inside, it has those barrels for tables, ‘sina-taabu’ stools made of wood and sisal, side sofas, a great service area and the dee-jays cubical at a strategic corner on the extreme left. The music is great and with the dance floor having mirrors on each extreme side, the crowd is another post altogether.
Thank God they don’t allow paparazzi inside.
Sadly, it had to be closed early in preparation of the next days’ motorshow event- I took one long last look coz I knew you had to part with a K to see the inside of the greamhouse the following day. I wasn’t willing…

Foxes of a feather
Sato dragged on a bit slow and thanks to continuous drizzle that turned the place into a nice lush green carpet- more so, i was happy the party was about to be ruined he he…I mean, It drizzled till past midnight! By then, the Fox and his comely other half had departed and the only other dude who would rhyme with my foxiness was none other that our chief chef! Foxes of a feather…
After wrapping and lapping out our supper, we rolled on 20, gave up finjes at the nearby town for tha ‘in-famous grouse’.
I drowned all my sorrows, in the dingy den, rain pouring its grievances outside, ill-mannered patrons dancing madly to some bongo tunes…till Lucky Dube came calling and I and I stood up to be counted.
The chief chef interested me with his life story and the social lubricant made it all the while great- I mean, there is a drop of Guinness in every man, I had my story too!
Sidebar: I wonder why drunk men tell of their great-should-have-made-it stories, who they have met, women-they-dated-no-scrap-that,beded, secret kid they have and finish it off with the all too common of a virgin Christian girl tagging on their cloak, asking for a hand in marriage…

Smitten to smithereens
Afterwards, we headed to greamhouze, corrupted the bouncers and I have never seen a much more lively party! By their looks and apparel (forgive the beer goggles) majority was Nairobians having a swell of a time. I wakilisha-d too, especially the rock session…and that’s when I think I spotted someone like smitta. My instincts were in high gear that I edged closer for a look… but his state-ass kinda raised some doubt…he spotted short dreads and a goatee- all qualifiers that it was him- but he was totally wasted, shirtless, had/has a small pot, three-kwenje khaki shorts, white socks and some Nike airs sneakers- he made me feel sober.
I spotted him severally and played down the thought till I left the greamhouze for my tent.
But the thought remained resident in my mind…
It all came to be on Sunday when, in a bid to shake the sadness of heading back to town, took a walk to the Lake- I and my company, decided to drop by and see the limos that were on show…now, pics are worth a thousand words in this case- BUT I met the Smitta, CEO and some other writers, crazy Nairobi dudes whose talk bordered the dumpsite in D.
…but talk about happiness, I met the writer I have always admired, and for my roughness and well-reversed lines, got a compliment.
It was worth the while. I was mashed by the auto-rides, bashed by the in-famous grouse and smitten by the poetic genius…again I have more hope of joining showbiz…sooner, or later.

**the rest of the photos are with another guy anadai kuingizwa bosk ndo azitoe….jo! i have to post them, especially coz they have the ridez,celebz and did i say bare bikini backs? oh and that kiddo was the kiddo of this German mama who tagged along.poor thing, he..sorry she has this upara that her name became kihara…which, strange enough, rhymed with her German name which i forget- i told u i dont love kids hehe/

***the rest of th captions:up thea kabisa is fox, boyf. and some lady..hapo chini is the smiley boyo with ‘the company’.girl has brain, wit and ‘intelligensia’ i miss a lot in my daily encounters…big ups to Beato, ha. The other one is of course, the black out!

otherwise, i missed the blogosphere.more rants soon!