my ode to the gloved one (M.J.)

June 26, 2009 at 5:27 am | Posted in life | 1 Comment

This morning , we woke to the ‘heartbreaking news to M.J.’s demise. It must be sad for his legion of fans. And for me too.

I digged the man’s music. He was legendary, i must say.

As a matter of fact, jana, with a workmate in a South C mat, we talked about the man. Apparently, the lady was saying that Ne-yo, in his video, Miss independent, was the best dancer ever. M.J. had to come in the picture. And the talk carried on, on his exploits on the dancefloor, his inventions and just perfect videos.

Just the other day, i had just acquired his ‘History Disc’ and everybody in the office fell in love with it. His music was just dope. I don’t know why the King of Pop had to stop short of come-back tour. I must admit that he was one of the musicians i would i really wanted to see perform live, but sadly, that will never be. Early this morning as i was coming to work, Maina Kageni and his co-presenter, Mwalimu King’ang’i were at it, as usual and Maina mentioned something about how he attended his 1993 Dangerous tour in Wimbledon-  it was phenomenon, going by the way he put it.

Even so, i remember watching a documentary-cum-film on his life on Channel 2, now Metro T.V. Well, be as it may, the man had issues in his life. Major issues, i must add…but watching the film gave me another perspective to his trouble life – from plastic surgery to his legal battles and i have to admit he had problems, but not as the media portrayed it. You know the media can fuck you up, right? And it did. Remember when he dangled his baby, Blanket, out of a Berlin balcony? Well, we all heard and read that he wanted to throw the baby off…but what a moajor misconception and distortion of incidents it was. I remember Gado drawing a cartoon of an M.J. on a balcony, holding child abuse charges as a black round ball ready to throw it…but it was tied to his leg. Poor M.J. Well, apparently, from the film, he had taken the baby from the nanny and was going to show him to his fans, covering its face with a face towel.

One more thing about the baby; he was curiously named ‘Blanket’. Who the hell would call their baby ‘Blanket? Ati, kuja hapa blanketi, hmmm. According to M.J., he was a Blanket…a blanket of love….

One major thing i noted is that he lived in an Utopian world of his own…his own realism that baffled even those close to him.

Sure, a lot has happened in this pop idol, but his music thrilled us. Thriller be playing now as i reminisce on the man and the music.

R.I.P. Micheal Jackson.

Adverts that should be struck off our screens

June 24, 2009 at 7:02 am | Posted in life | 5 Comments

I mostly like watching T.V. for the adverts aspect. I recall when i was small, we would recite almost all adverts, after dad brought home our first Great Wall t.v. I love adverts. They represent the creative aspect of T.V. which is my thing. So, they had better be good!

Now, not all are. Some seem to be hurriedly assembled up for certain reasons and us viewers bare the brunt of poor productions. Yeah, we know and i also know, adverts aint true. But i would not call them lies. Just mere exaggerations of some purpoted truth. See, even if you’re lying to us, please do so convincingly that even if you’re wooing us to hell, tell us in a such a way that we’re look forward to the fete, no so?

Right now, i have several adverts on our screens that do not my derserve my my KEBS production sticker.

Bouncy (pampers?) baby diapers

For a competitor to Pampers diapers, this ad does us a disservice. It even ‘dos’ the advertisers right back inthebums. It starts with a crying baby and a sleeping couple where the mother tells her hussy that ‘it’s  his turn to get the baby’s milk. And the guy, drenched in sleep, almost falls over in the kitchen. I think that is supposed to be funny. However, the following day, he purchases (we’re not shown though, which is why it lacks ‘that ‘product placement thingy that should show how the product made a difference) …so he gets Bouncy diapers and we’re shown the mother wrapping the baby up in them. That night, they sleep peacefully.  The ad ends there. But i think t could utilize the minute better. Right before it ends, the announcers voice talks about how the diapers change color when wet. This is audio visual, and i think (though i never used diapers) it is a unique selling point for them so, they should do a visual illustration or something, like it happens with Pampers…

For this, and the poor lighting – making the ad dull and lack that professional lustre, i’d give it a 3/10!

4u beauty soap

And this is another, featuring the cliche mother and child and a soap. The concept is same ol’ but i would not blame them…new ideas are as expensive to come up with, but wouldn’t be worth it? Yes, i have several concept to sell a soap – like show a guy so having fun, making noise in the bathroom like he is wanking…yeah, lol and follow it up with something meaningful–but here we have them, mother and daughter, the daughter of course asking how mum’s skin is so good…

” but it will be if you use 4U beauty soap” – perfectly cliche!

But i just have one najor beef with this one. The lighting is passable, but the echos that come through are annoying. Under no circumstances, unless intended should sound be distorted. It should be clear, audible and straight forward. But fit this ad, you can clearly hear the echo in the room, meaning it was a ‘tape-to-DVD’ production.

A zero on that!

Meanwhile, not all ads are jumbled up (and here i can go on on like the energizer bunny) and thumbs up for those who come up with simple, corny and catchy ideas. Like the perfect match concept in Wahi Kuwahi promotion, and the Yu free text messages.  In the latter, i like the Uhuru Park one more than the others. Especially that lady preacher. She so looks the part of those Street preachers it would be hard to be convinced she does something else for a living – check out her hairstlye, dressing, high heels even the way she kondoas her macho!

That’s it for today, tweeples…kumbukeni, atakaye nyunyiziaye maje, naye pia ata nyunyiziwa!

Riba ya maboy na ma-matha

June 23, 2009 at 12:56 pm | Posted in life | 2 Comments

jana kedo jioni hivi after ma-wira wira ivi, niliishia kunywa korner ingine mi hufreqeunt jijini ku-hook up na ma-mboiz, baada  si badala ya kazi. sasa jo, hakukuwa nare ile joint, kwa hivo wasee walikuwa tu wanashikihsa ma-dwinks zao, jaba na nini tu ivo ivo bila hewa. lakini wajua riba lazimi ishike, ata kama.

sa enyewe, tulikuwa mi, Dagi, Oyengi papa na ka-mboos juu ya miti, stoney na ma-teargas ivi. story tu ziliwa tu zikikam huku tukichill githaa iende kiasi…kuingia mtaa saa moja ka kuku hailetangi bidii ma-tyme mob, eh…

sa enyewe, baada ya mastori stori hivi (za madem, kumangana, nini nini) ni Dougie alipiga riba ingine ilim-happen jana…na ndo nataka kuwapigia hapa.

Sasa, mboiz…Dagi ni msee wa insurance na siku hizi anatusumbua sana sijui tununue package gani na gani.  jana alipata ma manyasa fulani hapo na riba ikashika njia ingine. Eti matha kitu ya kwanza alimdaisha ni venye ako ‘lucky’ ata ‘hajapata’ huzzie yake hasapo…alafu venye dagi ameshindwa kitu ya kusema, matha akaendelea

” ah, relax, najua ni hard kuanza kuongea tena, lakini usijali…”

Stori ilichukua direction ingine mpaka boy wangu Dagi akasahau alikuwa anafanya nini hapo…

Eventually, madha hakuchuka ile insurance lakini ali-promise sijui ku-keep tabs akiget mkwanja. Sasa Dagi na yeye, details zenye ana-insist ni venye walikam kwa mat pamoja, sijui venye aliliwa aka-feel hizo ma-jeggie… na ndo hi topic ilicome up. Enyewe, hakuna mtu alikuwa ana-oppose…ukiangukia ki-madha ni Bahati ya msee, Oyengi ndo anaongea…juu ule mtu atakugawa mpaka u-landi down ka lizard…zingine zilisemwa wacha tu ni-censure tu, enyewe, kuna watu waliwanga under the influence.

sa mi hiyo story bado nafikiria ka ni poa. u- hook up na mmadha, alafu ana-ku maintain ivi na wewe service ni kwako. si eti hawa ma-boy hawana kitu ya ku-do…ni venye tu spirit ya adventure and better live nini nini…si-need ku justify anyway.

its all in the pursuit of happiness.

personally, bado sija-settle kiakili…wacha tu mjamo anipite ivi tuone kenye nita du!

Ghetto Livity!

June 15, 2009 at 2:36 pm | Posted in life | 2 Comments

Me I don’t send the watchie.

I prefer going for those chapos myself. See, he charges ‘mileage’. But me thinks that by buying that chapo, I already have paid the necessary taxes. Ask Uhuru.

Miser? I hear that registering in your head. But it’s beyond the point, any way. Though I may have miser-able tendencies, it only happens when I’ve reduced money to money-geable levels and every coin is to be accounted for. Such times have dawned on my spending doorstep. I’ m even afraid I won’t make it to the Tusker Safari Sevens Rugby affair to witness the…adrenalin and muscles?

No. Usoro tu. Seeing lotsa ladies, fashion trends, tricks and disasters is refreshing for someone with Glamorous ambitions. Its gives me lots of ideas (prey…but hey, back to lunch break storo.

Another reason I nyima the watchie that vital coin…although at times when I feel like sticking outdoors the whole time, is that i get to suck fire pleasurably, escaping this dark, claustrophobic office. For my viewership pleasure, I also get to see the weekends wreckages paraded at Industrial area police Station (ama venye wasee wa mtaa huiita- Inda/ Kinya). As I smoke like a train, past cops receiving bribes, I keep wondering if the driver and passengers really got alive. Some cars have scary damages. On the windshields, you actually get to see how the head of the driver created a bump…and the steering wheel, sadly reduced to a number 8 shape.

If this is all drunken driving, well, I’ll never touch a a a akoho if I’ll drive. Its appalling to land in heaven drunk. Yeah, I’ll believe I’ll go to heaven.

Speaking of drinking, where I do partake this cup of amorphous tea (a bad mixture of sugar, milk, water and God knows what else) I’m severally tempted not to touch the seductive amber bottles glistening on the bar, right opposite the Police Canteen. So far, I consider all my battles won, and my job reputation intact.

But I did not always come all this way. Just outside the office, there are several mama chai who peddle Kenya’s second favourite brew plus mandazis and chapattis cooked in the open air. When I was a fresh intern, I would sneak out and go dine with the mechanics who work on the Mercedes Benz garage within the compound. Not until we started talking with office mates, freely, and they openly rubbished the hygiene of the place. Though I never admitted frequently the place, I considered it fit to ‘upgrade’ my tea break excursions. There were numerous complaints of bad stomachs after taking the tea and mandazis the mama had to offer. Not at once have I ever had stomach upsets as a result of roadside food.

I am from the Ghetto, I think, and my stomach is as hardy. Not even the housefly sitting in the sugar dish distracted my sweet affair…I think I need to scrub my brains off this ghetto dirt…but why do I seamlessly fit in any class I come across? Maybe I need to set standards…like early last sem back at school, there was a certain group that allegedly left for an intervarsity Symposium in Uganda. I was to be in it..but something happened and I was left feeling bad about not visit this country …which holds the women of my dreams.

Like Winfrey of TPF 2 or 1..but that’s a story for another day.

Days later, the trip turned bitter after some food poisoning in a Champara Hotel. They all came back VERY  sick.

I wonder if I’d have been a victim too..with all this Ghetto Livity flowing in my blood.

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