Wapi ile kitu nivute!

May 26, 2009 at 1:26 pm | Posted in life | 3 Comments

Jo! Ni kaa nilisare ku-worry over ma-issues zingine ka ma-dem.lakini bado. Kuna ma-issues kadhaa zina circle kwa ubongo ka ma-vultute juu ya mzoga. Najua nime mess mara mob lakini naendelea tu ku learn. In fact, nikitupa glance manyu, naona nime grow. Siku hizi mi si Kanyotu. Kitambo sikuwanga nafikiria. Ka mwera kokote kanapita mbele yangu kaliwanga POTENTIAL mbaya! Nile-end up na so many hang up projects, unsatisfaction, nini nini—although pia, nili hit bull’s eye mara kadhaa – wewe, usinicheki ivo!
Githaa ka hii, sina dem naeza dai eti ni right woman wa mine—lakini hakuwezi kosa ma emergency pills, au vipi? Mi ni free bird ingine hapo inapenda tu kupeperuka ka kipepeo bila flight governor. siwezi naswa na mtego ya mneno ka love- ati upendo lovey dovey nini?
Lakini siwezi danganya, kuna tu binti kadhaa tushasengua roho yangu tu vi-mwadhara. Yaani, tunaibonyeza bonyeza ka madathi—lakini ka kawa, hizo ma feelings huwanga hazi make kupata kitu ka echo kwao ndo zitoke teke mpaka honey moon. Walami huiita un-requited love, mtaa si husema—ULILAPWA!
Sasa enyewe, juu ya risto ka hizo, nime lean back na kufikiria. Nime take a break from career thoughts nitatue huu mjadala. Kwanza, juu sina ka-regular, nita survive aje? Mataki ziki kamithes ivi na mi si msee wa ‘soap opera’ nitawahi wot? Najua life si kumangana tu—na mi nika nimechill—ama lack of opportunities ukitaka. Either way, nimeswallow chill pill na Mambo ni mdogo mdogo this time: kukulana nimeachia ma-doggie na ma-boy wenye nyege ka ma tom boy…hehe.
Lakini, sidhani boy ako fiti kabisa anaeza chapa miezi mob bila ene! Ata kaa ni kamoja tu- mauraru (blue balls) zitakurarua mbaya! Ma- time, ni poa uflex nyundo ucheki ka ina eza service kabati bila matafash – si smart siku ile una hitajika mtambo ukware kunguruma!
Kwanza ma-days ka hizi sex ni kaa iko legal outside marriage.ni rare upatane na shorty anadai sijui mpaka ndoa ndio nitatoa urwach—ata ka kunao, ma boy ni wale wale! Ata ma-pero wamekubali hii generation haiwezi chill. Walitry ku washow wa chill, lakini wapi! T.V. nayo ndo hiyo – lakini same screen scenes za sex. Ni hard ku avoid hii topic na in short, society iko saturated na sex (matatu, radio, ofisini, chuo, hospitali, sokoni…) Yaani, mbuyus, mtasis mbig, mnyasa, wanakudunga re-al roho swafi live: Jo, tumia kondomu!
Generation ilidinda kuchill!
Lakini hakuna moral police hapa- we mangana ama mangwa tu ki ujanja, maisha ni yako!
On the same tone, different topic…
Ni sad sana kwangu ka reason-ing yangu sa ime-toe hiyo line yaku rate dame na kenye anaeza wahi kukuwahi (punani). Ma –predicaments zimenifumania na siwezi help ku-wa blame hawa ma-smarta! Yaani, fraction kubwa ya wale nina patina nao, wananibore ‘ki-intellectually’. Though ni easy ku switch to her’ level’, ma- mental fuck-alties ziko bored to death- hakuna kitu anadai inaeza stimulate thinking. Ma water head mbaya! Si eti nadai mi ni ka-intellectual Fulani, a a —but just-above-the-average reasoning is all too welcome!!!! Challenge, ni-challenge—make me feel that you not your-run-off-the mirrs kiabu kaeretu…I mean, my heart swells, one is excited by the above-the-notch goodies u got (coz in the long run, it will run down shawty wot u got??).
Nimepatana na ma-nji-mata kadhaa wa-swift upstairs and man, regardless of some of their looks (mara mob yuwanga reverse relationship)— and I enjoyed it immensely.
Otherwise, kawaida, me hu turn off my mental LSD lights, let the tongue do the cliché wagging, as I fork-ass on my favourite verse that describes such (from a short story called ‘ Darwin’s Helper’:

Her putrescence, her sheer stinking stupidity, was most certainly generational if not multi-generational. The only good thing about her life was the orgasm her father had in order to create her. I can’t imagine any situation or path of destiny that would lead her to actually doing any good on this earth, nothing at all.

In the end, mi huuliza nitatoka hiyo mtaa yako lini nikatafutene na Peter huku nikiwika:
Don’t forget to check this URL too
and drop your comment on that crazy story.


diary of a screaming intern!

May 18, 2009 at 12:31 pm | Posted in life | 5 Comments

Today, i stepped in some office and proclaimed my presence after some tip off from ‘the boss’ himself.

but let me take it for from the top–coz, as am typing this, the Lady Boss has just left and there is crunk music from the corner of the room!!!!

Well, jana, as i had said in my latest post, i was to read my work at Kwani? Open Mic, Lavi. Wa! Being a last minute person, i was ready by 5 30..event was to start at 6: 30–and had no idea where mats za Lavi ziko.
Long story short, doubled as the worst day of my ‘art-Life’–getting rained while strolling the dark leafy lanes of lavington, with bitter thoughts–and peeing on an electric fence–with disgust, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

By the time my compass ticked back to reality and i found the place, i had given up and then discovered–IT HAD BEEN CANCELLED.

Lets wacha that topic for now…

So, u can imagine how i woke this morning with nothing official in a wardrobe, red eyed….headed for an interview to a place i know not–eventually discovered that its pronounced with a B while tis actually a Hindu name with a P–hmm…never mind.

My other accomplice in internship failed to show up and was calling me from the crib teasing me on how my-soon-to-be boss is all over T.V. sijui launching the Brand Kenya thingy…

It was at this time that i was welcomed with a bunch of mags–and nothing more as the workers went munching chapos and hot coffee while ‘i looked them up’ haha..

Eventually, it was miss CEO who showed up, plus daughter and i was soon called upon…and thus begun the clatter that has become my mind now. First is the look i got—the torture of choosing which Mag i’ll be working on -they’re about 8 tittles–and choosing one called ‘G’ followed by –what do you know and can you write about women? Plus i was told to generate EVERYthing plus design and i thought she was joking …but well, internet is here with us..

Pls…all ladies out there, can u suggest to me sex topics you’d like to be featured in a mag for this freshblood (the magz are so raunchy am personally scared, tsk!

Well, that part wasn’t as agonizing…especially after being settled in a work station, with hinda-net (hey!) and the working hours running from 7 – 4 pm!!!

Well, for a change in the Menu of my blog, i hereby present my endavours in the following form


…..as i get acquainted to the cold..cold..cold…place.


habari ndo hii!

May 6, 2009 at 10:55 pm | Posted in life | 9 Comments

He was so good they tagged him thrice 🙂

Well, by now, the Usual Suspects have scrapped out all the aspects of this tagging biz-nezz and its been really exciting staring at some skeles-fresh out of the dash-board.

Out i shout some names: Supreme Green Grins, Her PrettySketchiness Lady N, dijango wa vungu aka Mboiz, 34rn3d n porned, er, pawned for life P4..PinkM-so-following mwah on thwither (am scared, lol) and all those who’ve ever heard of boyfulani…

 So mind if i go right into business?

breathe in…out!

10. Picked up a bad habit recently (friends!) and its growing on me like ivy–somebody help me to quit saying am quiting sucking on cancer sticks!

9. For ‘my queer’ interests, i sometimes find myself lonely and deeply sinking into my own world—someone recently told me that am the kind of guy who’d commit suicide and p’ple would never be surprised! Jeez!

8. I’m a joker to the extent i missed an exam yesterday. Screwed i was and i feel like hanging for the fact that the next will next be offered in January 2010! Till then, a ‘X’ hangs about my transcipt ka mshuto permanent.

7. I think she is the only girl i ever ‘loved’- high school bitter-soot heart. Never at once gave the slightest of a hint that i s-exist, LoL. ..But honestly, never think i ever felt something like that, before and after…to Date.

6. I’m just too observant for life, i think, to the extent i tell of details that leaves p’ples eye brows raised—yeak, eye for details, and de-tails too, if u know wot i’m not mean about!

5. No one has responded to this..ok, at least in the blogosphere, but once u see me, you probably gotta look twice: but am the boss of the campo paper for next one year! hmm…well, as a plus if it will make me ‘famous’, tsk tsk, win me an award, tsk…than hooray, otherwise, i look to moving on in life on other major stuff.

4. Ever been caught ‘pants-not-so-down’ in that newsroom…dayyymn! hehe.

3.On a lateral note, have not got over this yet but Kwani Trust guys called me to read ‘my work’ at the Sunday Salon Open Mic…yaani, for the little crap i muse out elsewhere (ok, boyf.blogo.is bull..hehe) and the ‘few enemies’ cumming as haters..hmmm..Ringad at first (was invited for the March one) but on the 17th of May Kengeles Lavi….woooosa—hope to overcome shyness and call a boob a boob not ‘fairly large’ pimples :-).

2. zime-kalas.

1. Dr. Sarah, of Prison Break, Lucia of Lost (lost Lost after she died) my ex, Maureen, Mwende my next door neighbor, aint no prettier girls/women/alive!

In that gene-onology i hope my wife will coooooome :D!

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