flip the channel, flip, flip the channel…
the Vice Chance-error (VC) is leaving for (yet another!) foreign trip to Korea…
dang!this guy travels more often than the Prime Minister and Presi-dead combined!
flip the channel…
another girl, is heavily pregnant on Campus. The grapevine, faster than the whisper of a chilling morning wind, is spreading…the ultimate subject of back hand convos.
chill,wait, dont flip the channel as yet. can’t you detect juicy news!
“who is the father of the baby?”
“which year is she?”
answers, answers, plentiful of answers, everyone is, and wants to be first with the news.
correct that, lies and rumors (which are half truths…?)
how many blogs does the world need, proclaims a writer in Time Newsmag…another streak of thought but, you!> flip the channel, flip, flip, flip the channel mr flix, er, felix, flip the channel…
a female MC is getting undressed..freeeeeeze the channel now, freeze the channel man!
but boyo mister boyfie has innocent eyes that sees not that which may lead to the path of sin…
he is a saint now, not a pant knicker…so, unfreeze the channel…oh, his poor eyes,
unfreeze the channel!!!
“hey girl, how was the semester for you?” in the best, deep-cum-soft base his vocal chords can strangle, he edges closer…
NOW, everyone psssssssssst, there is a leakage. a leakage to this media you are reading.
this is my story now, not in the grapevine but snippets in a secret journal of bad poetry that i guard with my dear life…
….started with a hi’ and now we…and now we…..
relax, relax, ladies and the gentlest of the men, relax.
we were flipping channels in the campus TV room and i was busy ‘flipping through her feminiscape’ via the ultra-V bluetooth of pupils, naturally pre-programmed to spot a mate? no, that’s stone age, in this age, the device lights up, scans and searches for compatibles…
and boy, wasn’t she a woman in full?
the way her breasts heaved every time she took a breathe, that which i wish, i was to her – her atmosphere…that all she would breathe was me…
don’t flip the channel az yet, don’t, dont flip the channel..
She found me smoking and peeing by the hedge.
So, I was holding two rods at the same time; one with wisps of smoke and the other jetting out a stream of hot, fresh, healthy, yellow urine.
Man, stupefied as I was, the hot rods kept on with their respective designate assignments.
And need I waste words on the look that registered on her face?
Before she could I-thought-you-were-an-environment-caring-Christian-save-your-Colgate-stop-smoking me, I let out an excuse-me-miss-give-me-some-few-seconds-or-just-help-me-with-one groan.
But she just stood there!
What could you have done?
My DEaR Wa-jee-raw*!
I would want to break into your thoughts with what’s written in my heart!
Hey wait, waiiiiiiiiit, let me tone it down as you would when you smear your Kimbo-vasirini* and the layer is too much for your mothiririmos* liking and those soft hands rise over and above your chocolate thighs…
Oh, the sighs that come out unbidden out of my lips when i ritho* you do your rishio*.
Surely, there’ll be no rats to interupt your animated grunts as my rhumbas serenade and refresh your body, soul and mind (in that oda!) like the ka-Novida*drink i brought you from the big city!
Shy girl, shy girl, hear, hear, give me your ears for all these years i’ve wanted to see you draw that map on the red earth with your big toe…for such a market day like this, when your mother and mine rush to sell ndumas* and ikwas*, i’l invite you right into my hut…and what’s more, into my heart!
See, see, Wa-jiro, my rav*…i bought a brand new kanyitera and, tsk tsk, suprise, supriiiiiiiiiiiiiise, a pink lacy one…the kind cool girls in the big city wear!…don’t blush, don’t blush, Wa-jiro, don’t blush, because even as rains have disappointed, i shall stand to appoint you with countless reasons…reminiscent of the days we rolled carefree on the green grass carpet and it’s viridity merged with our childhood innocense….
Hold on, hold on…Wa-jiro…i know you got no humor tumor in your head and i can not be simpler than this…but i can assure you, in Uni-verse-City, they don’t award degrees for virginity!
So, pris, pris, un-insure your thoughts from mindless chastity…
Ok!Ok!OK!My bad!I fixed the bed, i swear i did…that by the time the sun bleeds over Gaichanjiru Village and the mishumaris are loose, i bet the crickets will swallow the creaking with the rhymes of their chymes….
Oh…there comes your nyukwa, i must go!
laughter in that language – i told you!
*Wa-jiro > Wanjiro- the name of a young maiden Kikuyu girl.
Kimbo-Vaserin >Kimbo is a cooking fat brand- folks in the village back in the day applied it as you would Vaseline…vaserin is, yes, Vaseline!
Rishio> Ritual, hehe
Ka-Novida > Novida – a refreshing non alcoholic drink from the Schweppes and Cocacola stable…assumed to be ‘up-market, mobile…with-it city folks…
Ndumas & Ikwas > Arrowroots and…Arrowroots…they’re all dug out!
rav >love, lol.
Kanyitera > a smoky lamp made of tin, a wick and paraffin…emits a lot of smoke!
Nyukwa> A derogative term to refer to ‘your mother’.
just when the posts have dried up and my mojo is hitting scary levels, there comes events and moments that jolt me to the moon on the spot! well, here’s a first class seat to some of them and as usual, i bring you the pictures and the actions…for they translate into a thousand words, aiight?
First, is Churchill…courtesy of this Campo Chic (a good friend of mine, like -you-would-say-Obama is-your -uncle) who hosts Talk Show (or is talk shop?ha!), like Tyra the tyrant and Oprah..called ‘True Story’.
So, keyboards roll..action!
the anctipation of the man
the welcome note
Tough questions, all are years….uh, ears.
The crowd, the talk show, the setting.
the awe struck: tall, dark, handsome…ooh, am i dreaming or is he the man of my dreams?
The jokes just flowed, and the crowded crowd couldn’t hold it back…though at times i think Churchill, like sex, valentine and some other things that don’t add up…is overated!
Eric Omosh Amused. hehe.
Dark Nights: Churchill claimed he had found his long lost brother…
KANJII AND FRIENDS
Kanjii the man of the moment, up close.
HolyDave…it’s not a joke!
daddy owens, talked to ze man backstage and seeing him on the Pukse pages today makes me feel like am so on my way there!
Am just a maaaaaaaaan….the song began….and they hype rose
they danced too much and a lot of sweat on not-so-sexy places, oopsy!
and finally, the paps with Kanjii