African Supermen: Eric, Tiger and Zuma

February 12, 2010 at 1:36 pm | Posted in life | 1 Comment

I happened to watch the Mo Faya play when it was playing at the Go Down Art Center, December last year thanks to the philanthropic nature of girl i once liked. Though my best foot was not exactly forward, and the stage would appear all hazy to me (thanks to less that 5 for the road), i managed to make out the action on stage.

I had never watched a musical before and i was liking the unfolding of this ‘Kwa Maji’ village -featuring Eric Wainaina as DJ Luanda, and the brilliant but nagging girlfriend, played by Valerie. Their chemistry (on stage, i insist) was, to say the least, amazing. That of the cast too.

In between hiccups, hollas to the voluminous Kaleo mama besides me, i gathered that in the play, DJ Luanda had hit the limelight and forgot all about his Kwa Maji (Ghetto) roots and routes. His girlfriend  trys to win his love back, as well as remind him about his very roots and the musical flows with humorous interjections in Kenyans drinking and nyam-choming culture.

Later on, the news emerge, or the grapevine had it (Kenya’s official Gossip Rag, Pulse) that indeed, Valerie is pregnant. The thought that their chemistry would overflow to offstage were not far off to me, though i gave it little thought- now that i could still picture Valerie in those small shorts even after the play. Speculations continued to trickle and even google holds the key to explanations as to who is solely responsible for the pregnancy. And then what?

It concerns me in several ways.

First, i’m a man, destined for greatness (Boyhood Dreams, huh) and once in a while, i do try to put myself in people like Tiger’s shoes. I imagine more holes that the 19th one, visualize how puting would do justice to my ego, ra-huh! See, holes are holes…yaani, karima ne karima, koru ni ka gui… a hole’s is a hole, the one you should avoid visiting is the one positioned on a dog- it might bite . See, whereas there are social boundaries set on by stuff like marriage, integrity and such things as restraints- i believe a man tries.

Zuma: African Viagra

Even Tiger tried. Zuma, zooming from this bosom to another, regardless of his age somehow embodies of the zest of an African man. And the mannerless-ness, abandon that comes with it. The reason why we find this quite odd is because of the devil we call ‘Civilization’. Level headedness and and all that decency shit. I believe we should live it out like in National Geography once in a while. And while at it, be ready for consequencies. Why oh, why, in the name of legacy, composure must we pay this price so dearly?

And the self-righteous bastards- well, somebody said that Civilization thinks it has done away with the devil, yet, it is the very explanation of it‘. Tiger Woods was nabbed through the phone (text messages) by his Swedish Blonde. It was probably an iPhone, for all i would care, but honestly, with the world eye’s on him, his spotless image rather, he ought to have been more discreet.

Actually, in last fall’s issue of the ‘Intelligent Life’ magazine, he was listed as one of the most impeccable niggaz to have graced the golf scene (now sin) spotless, clean…but things have changed, for listening to his other head too much. Big Deal? Yeah, there be Big Deal’s in stake, but if your mama told ya tis all gon be smooth sailing lied to you. That is if you have something called ‘untamable spirit’ moving about restlessly within you.

Wainaina , with his politically satirical songs that thrust him to fame and respect, was a near-perfect example of a successful man living off his amazing talent as opposed to some a-maize-ing politicians.

Another thing common among these men, besides their brilliance and achievements, is their…yes you guessed it: African connection. They are a highlight of a dying breed, lost in metrosexualness and crap like Valentines.

Whereas i don’t openly advocate for infidelity (if it happens, discreetness please) i think the moral telescope is not the only way to look at things. And these guys in the limelight should be left to eat what they want in peace – which they can’t as they are in the limelight. On the same note, they should pay for their sins – which does not interest me much…rather the fact, they among the many African supermen spilling their seed all over…a good and bad trait.


1 Comment »

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  1. Because of their success, clout, reach etc we’ve branded them ambassadors of common morals. We thus judge them wrong because as our role models, we feel hoodwinked. Otherwise whatever they do is exactly what we do in even greater propotions.

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