campo mwaradhoz:jirani ‘mwema!’

April 3, 2009 at 4:42 pm | Posted in life | 6 Comments

ok guys, its a Friday na nimesota mbaya, so am stuck here, with you and i have to tell you some storo i witnessed recently on campus.

see, since i moved out to what is referred to ‘off-campus residences, life has taken another turn and am afraid that guy in the mirror just doesn’t look like me….but it happens, shit happens…especially in a campus where freedom is a far cry like water in Ijara Constituency- but sure enough, if want it, you’ll get it.

and shit does truly happens…like this jirani of mine who lives three or four rooms away from me (have since hama-d). there is a story as to how i ended up in this, needless to say; ghetto, but hiyo tutararua siku ingine. and what’s more, this seems to cement the relations here- shida zimetuleta pamo….pamoja (but we don’t tell).

it so happened that Jirani M, lets call him JM had ponyokad with a fresha and took her from the ‘able hands of school hostels’ and turned her into a wife…so that  kila morning i’d see the innocent chick with a lesso washing utensils but i never gave it much thought.

It so happens that JM is from those marginalized communities na si m-sharp vile, lakini, yeye anajicheki ni ‘commando’…eeh, yaani player/bad boy nini nini…

It also came to pass that after several weeks of the complete package of the services that come with a wife, he kinda grew tired of this ‘all-too-ready-chick and was planning on getting rid of her.

This particular day, dude went to watch sijui Arsenal versus nani and soon-to-be-wife was hanging around the hostels waiting for hubby to arrive. She had no keys to the room…and no phone too and the school hostel’s curfew time had already passed. This is where jirani mwema came.

Described as harmless and quiet the carnivorous man-instincts took over and convinced the mama to step in his keja for a ‘while’ and ‘chill’ for JM to arrive…

And they as they say, the rest is privy to history and the other jirani who heard cries-of-pleasure…and the ARRIVAL of JM!

hold your breathe.

Chance favored them, ‘somehow’ and the-now-thoroughly-beaten wife sneaked into JM’s keja BUT wapi, dude smelled her out. Daggers were drawn and JM who comes from those communities that ‘kula mori’ and start shaking actually pulled out a Somali sword.

…luckily though,  grace was sufficient and no blood was shed, but the story has since spread like bushfire.

The ka-ex-wife fresha was temwa-d and it was only later that her story came out: she is a major distributor of the ‘commodity’ and apparently, there is even a list where the ‘best performers’ are ranked…haha…and what’s more, the ex-hubby was rated the WORST…ok, now i sound like am dramatizing it…but for a fresher, three months old in Campo, i wonder what record she plans to achieve.

Oh, there, the memory of this and more has somehow cheered me…hope it will make you react too.

Super Friday!



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  1. LOL!! Kenyan campuses are way too much fun!!
    too much of it!

    The girl sure knows how to get round the block quick fast and in a hurry!! and the list is growing!

    Hehehe. Enjoy your weekend!!
    am already is!

  2. Lol. . . Typical of our campuses! In ours, there used to be a chic who was quite the pro in that are. . .dudes used to wait for her to kamata her next victim, everyone hoping it would be them. Woman was hot waah! am sure all walipanga laini!

    . . . .and her screams or rather cries of pleasure were legendary!

    LoL, why does this scare me, hehe

    Mad drama I tell you.

  3. LOL!!!!!!!!!!

    I have been so amused! 3 months and she already has a rep? Poor her. “Distributor of the commodity..I’m tickled..

    Sibbie, haha..ati her cries were legendary? Goodness

    Kwanza do i need to add that last week, a guy was given a room for ‘service with the same chick and the only requirement was to leave all windows open for the host to see the

  4. Campus life surely never changes. That is one funny storo.

    i hope it doesn’t…its much fun in between books!

  5. LOL am sure she looks so young and innocent…lakini wapi!! poor dude…he’s rated the worst! seems like the sky is the limit 4 that chiq in “pare pare” issues!

    LoL, u sure got it right – i wonder how the trophy she hopes to win looks like!

  6. ha h aha ha ha aha ha!!
    to think thats one of the most “christian- church” unis around lol!!!

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