have you ever waited for someone

November 4, 2008 at 9:27 am | Posted in d8ingame, he-motions, msheflani, poetry | 4 Comments
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…hoping they will never show up? But sure enough, you are dying to see them?

in fact, the whole of the past weekend, minutes were punctuated by their very thoughts, thoughts of how they have suddenly started upsetting you in such a sweet way.

waiting...

waiting...

how they are making you suffer.

how you are aching to tell, express,rain, pour- explode! Yell to them about the bounding spell they have pronounced on you…

sleep has been a rare commodity. it’s a cliche, yes you know. they write about it, right from nursery pick up lines that ‘silali juu yako‘…but its so fucking real to you, you ashamed of it. so real like sex and taxes and yes, its already taxing your nerves.

yaani, like the thrones of capitalism the reign of your sanity is at stake.

but you know you are not going mad about anyone.

even though every time you lie to rest, then begins a journey in your mind, like shakespeare wrote.

you’d like to leave it at that, but the dreams, oh! from the fourth dimension and animated like an award winning hollywood flick, they puncture into your over-stretched consciousness.

torture.

psychological torture!

where is she? where is he?

then, you remember. uhm, you never forget it. you just chose to ignore it.

…that many have tried.

no longer are you the cynic.

” ati hakuna kitu kama love ” is now a forgotten mantra, one you chose to avoid ka ngotha ya kitambo

Like Luther, you’ll are sworn to never say never again…

maybe it’s even more than that.

” Hebu imagine”- you consort your sane brain cells.

this person has such a history. they have upset so many, you have gathered.

but like the temperess of talmud, they still appeal.

all you need is audience…you console your pride.

and this morning, you hoped it’d end.

that they’d saunter into your life and dispell all doubts, unload the burden on your thoughts, quench your sexcessive obsession.

…maybe she is a workmate, your best friend’s sister, that forbiden distant cousin, or if you are in my vantage point, a class mate.

sadly, and sure enough, they don’t appear.

a desperate sigh parts from your lips, on this realisation. your eyes stare blankly, probably beyong the ceiling, unto heavens- take this cup away from me, you’d like to scream…but complete inability to think, act, sweeps over you.

****

phew! another entry is made in a dreamers diary – maybe one day, the torturing illusion will crytallize into this unbelievable wonder woman.

****

dreamed up this in class, as i looked accross the lecture hall…hopr u gitch the flow.

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4 Comments »

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  1. nice nice. you write quite easily.

    **curtsy** i keep trying…to calm my nerves!

  2. Yes I have. . Been there, (still there?)

  3. Still waiting..

  4. got tired of waiting and moved on.


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