caressing my kalashnikov, i sigh

October 24, 2008 at 3:49 pm | Posted in greatmen, he-motions, life, randommoments | 8 Comments
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so i thought/flyleaf

my best friend,he who knew me best, left for Russia a week ago, no two, am not sure.

he left without saying goodbye.

i wasn’t surprised. i wasn’t supposed to, i saw it coming, from a distance…maybe even all along.

but it hit me like a slug on bulletproof strapped torso. my heart just yelped, in its usual frightful discomforting form that occurs when my fears are confirmed. accompanying it is a dry throat an urge to swallow hard, but it never happens, leaving me suspended in an air of sickening uncertainity- eyes, glassy and if you look deeper, intense.

what’s more, i learnt it from this dude who rans a cyber which we usually frequented during my hols, made few odd coins that we pooled together for the inevitable shot of the ’24 Carat N series’. yeah, the Capital ‘N’ in iN-famous grouse that cemented this our delicate friendship.

so, the paradox of life!

am easy, am cool but am diss-tabbed by the implication of this. rarely do i see stuff on the blogosphere, across the whole spectrum that i scroll that chronicles any failures in their part of life… to most uv ’em hell is other people- but aint that what makes personal memoires? hell!hell can be me too…so, here i blog, of this particular blot that i loathe.

i still love pain.especially when it comes from close quarters. i can’t lie i feel me, its the fervor that hardens my resolve…the six pound stone that would weigh hard on my ribcage, it’s not fiction.

so being i, what would you do? add a comment to posts on facebook about moscow, like ‘hey why u left w/out saying goodbye?’

ha! definately, not in my lifetime. i cherish my silence. who i will always be and is,  in the shadows…creeping slowly like a cat, all places like it, closing in for the kill…but may i leave it at that?

that’s why, everyday, i go on one knee and i ask God to protect my friends from me as for divine guidance as i choose the horny devil and the deep blue shit in their place¿¿¿

**********the may-bees and their sting**********

well, i hate to pen this post on the same breathe and psyche as the above…but i have to coz its time has come. not even the Russian troops formerly at the Georgian border can stop it.

i have harboured dreams of Russia for long, long before Palin walked to her backyard and ‘discovered’ it. every1 has a dream destination.

Czechslovakia, is another.

Maybe it has to do with the many vampire movies that i derive me writing grain from…or my love for The Blade..Vampires, or the fact that most of these movies are shot in these locations- with my presumptive theory being that vampires, real or not, never thrive in temperate climate and the Scandinavian weather is cool with the brood (picture a vampire movies shot in Sahara???) the movies? Blade the Serie?Underworld I & II Van Heilsin?

see, i love the name of the cities on this part of Europ3. Moscow resonates some warm tune in my heart, with its filth, fullness,life,everything. as inquisitive as i am, i never bother to gather any facts about it. i let it remain that: a mystery plus whatever lies in the borders of the greater Russia.

i mean, what does KGB really mean, what is the Kremlin? Cool names to me, one i’d give to rooms in my imaginary condo in Warsaw? Yeah, i know Warsaw isthe Cap. city of Poland but dint i say this part of Europe fascinates me? You never listen! ok, sorry, the battles within…

OR maybe it has to do with the great writers born and bred by Russian dark ages of iron fist dictators( Akina Stalin, Lenin, and now Putin…) or isn’t art born and bred? a revolt against fate? was that what the name calling was all about during the delayed Nobel Peace prize nominations late last month? That America literati is now certified trash and the best writers will forthrightly come from Europe? |And the Mee-ricans were saying Euro-pee-ans owe it all to genocide, crime against humanity? the holocaust?concentration camps..and such horrors of history? like how this old geezer (no pun) who was honored? blah- get the flow?

alex, poor alex, died a slow death from the chemical he was apparently fed on

alex, poor alex, died a slow death from the chemical he was apparently fed on

clearly, it must be connected with the written word. Remember the guy who was fed on Polonium 270(above)? the way his ass wasted away?for messing with KGB?maaaaaaaan.and for askance sake- if smitta actually bred his literary Talent in ‘Russki’, why wasn’t he fed with a dosage of that shit? i mean, if he poked fingers at the Kremlin the way he does to Kenyan celebs on his russinglish-ridden column? ha ha, if .Ke had a Celebhood KGB and i was the chief la-torturaski, i’d gladly polonium-lize his vodoski soaked brains with my own writing instinctiskis, lame as they are with careful poisened pen jabs at the right nodes! but we cool cats and genius gnaws at genius 😉

BUT why did they have to kalashnikov Anna? Palin, she of the Mc Pain fame reminds me of this Putin critic whose works am skimming through here.

And speaking of that thwanja ngwenze (loved this smitta slang today) called Putin, how dare he reason he can ‘put in out minds that in the 21st century, he can step down from Baks to Agw-asses position handing over power to some Mende-whatever?

some things only happen in Mos-Ko.

and yes, Mos-Ko,mos def, boyf., will check you out one day.

otherfools, if it ever turns out to be just that, a dream, before i breathe my last, i shall sigh, that it was a great life…as i caress my deadly kalashinikov, consoling it that it smote and slay many in it’s lifetime nd only missed the target by whisker; dem russian pussiekis!



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  1. Be damned if I know of what you speak.

  2. i thought i was on my own KK.

  3. too bad!its every communicators nightmare:being not understood.but i shall leave it at that.maybe someone will get the flow, someday.

  4. Sorry about the best pal; had the same thing happen to me and I know it ain’t easy.

    Shoot him an email; perhaps he was stressed with last minute packing or you can work through whatever differences you mighta had. Nothing to lose.

  5. I’ve always been fascinated by Eeeeengland since I was a child; the culture and the castles and the accent and… wow!

  6. @Mo, welcome to england…as for the friend…dont do facebook, i mean real freinds dont resolve issues thru facebook, trust me.
    Me, i want to go to Canada and Mexicooooo…i wanttttttt also a Mexican man…

  7. smitta is genius but I wouldnt like u to follow that rd.

  8. Sometimes its hard to say bye so people just leave..I agree with Neema, send him an email, he was ur best friend, what more is there to lose?
    it’s quite different when u r a dude, giving a damn is the last thing you do, the most i can offer is reflect on my blog and throw the rest of the crap into the annals (or anus) of history.

    Speaking of Russia, never wished to journey there..

    It’s my dream destination, Savvy…On a clear day, i can see Russian, i’d love to be called a Muscovite, even if its for a day!

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