kukru kakra za mtaa

April 4, 2008 at 10:57 am | Posted in life | 6 Comments
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Am not so hood but to some extent, I believe I am. My ability to assimilate my style in any setting just amazes me…but hey, there are some areas you leave for the high priests of a particular class. But to matters much simpler, less philosophical and that thrive by the order and situation of the day, being hood is fun.
Ignorance (relevant) is bliss and just living for the moment expels any fear harbored by the thoughts of tomorrow.
During the unrest, came the extended opening dates and naturally, I found myself ‘jobless’. No internet, no lectures, no pretty classmates…and the would-be savior TV was boring. The need to breathe some fresh air was imminent and I simply budged to do some explores around the hood.
Next stop: the local J.B. corner!
And hey, wasn’t I taken to task to come up with a checklist?
First, since I chewed a major black out sometime back and divorced that liquid and its sisters, the only similar thing btn us was some liquor affectionately named ‘naps’.
Otherwise, the following are some other things am not doing soon to be ‘hood’
Kuchana/kusaga/goks/jaba
Majani ni fave pastime ya kila mtu huku ivi. Kwanza during the ‘countdown to deception’ kuanzia Shiree CMB, kanjoti, to Kags, green substance oozed from edge of their mouths as the ‘jaba’ nasa-d them like a non-sense. They call it ‘kushikisha’ and with ‘items’ they can bum from 6 to 6 …talking. Am afraid my offspring maybe cut off by khat and the way they usually babble-d, it could be fit for these our vibeless radio presenters who tell us nothing new except some googled info…except that only them understand their talk and jokes.
Meanwhile, hii kitu yu-turn watu wakuwe ma-beggars ki-plani…consistently begging
“ ahh, boy, ebu nikanje ngovo hapo niende ka-big g na ‘items’..”

Skala/ skala kubwa
Haha! Jaba haiwezi nasa kabisa bila shambok..ama shamboki…eee, most of u smoke, ya? As the thing was passed across the room, I only choked…and hey, its not like I was fixing myself in here. they are (old) hood guys who we grew up with but are still hustling their way up. Yeah, I was a notorious secondary smoker and me and fuakas, be aware, are no cool pals.
Pia kuna skala kubwa…ngwai yaani. I was lucky the ‘nation wasn’t healed’ while I was around.
However, I was glad the perception of mary jane was a ‘–ve’ one.
“ eee, jo..hiyo kitu inaweza kuchizisha especially kaa damu yako haziskizani”
On the other hand, majority have tried it out.
Mbiko!
Lol. Kenya is a mixed economic system state, economists would tell you and it takes even more economics to draw the line between the two- capitalism and socialism. Am also not sure where the socialist/communist system comes into play, economically speaking, but I can sure point it out for you in the hood.
Where everyone in your click deserves a share of the ‘national cake’ ujamaa is the name of the game.
You go out clubbing after imbibing cheap liqour outside you bust into the scene and ‘nyonya’ ngano moja pale mpaka morning na dame akicheki venye umerundwa….anaona huyu ni sonko kweli…and probably, she is the takeaway. You may as well bare in mind that bahati si yako pekee..several of your unlucky hood-lums will drag a long for a ‘combi’/ groupie…whatever you call it. but be sure it’s a witty game of changing ‘musical chairs’ with the ka-takeaway being baffled by the various sizes, grunts and game you got. If she only knew…ok, of course, most do know and having witnessed one, they have nothing much to say…after all, it’s a national cake, aint it?
Hmm..mimi? Communal shags? Noooooooooooooooooooooo………..

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6 Comments »

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  1. Firstie, yeahhh it’s mine. And then I click back to read.

  2. Been back, again and again, and I don’t think we are on the same wavelength. I’m illiterate where sheng comes in.

  3. hey, am back
    i am one of those who fit in in most places, except shagz. it really tries my patience. where i was holidaying (malindi) chewing miraa was a kwaw thing, like drinking soda. so u find a whole family just chewing, mother father, daghterr, son….
    oh, i didn’t begin to chew myself, don worry, ama gud gal.

  4. LOL! hizo ma Jobless Corners huwa na risto na vituko vya maajabu. Mbiko reminds moe of one christmas ‘present’ kina my bro and his pals festively ‘shared’.

    kuchana niliachia kichana na hiyo pia nilishindwa…

  5. Maua I feel you for real…..
    Aii boyfulani… that is some conc lingua sheng… but I think if I read slowly I might shika a bit. I see them jobless konas haven’t lost their mass youth appeal. Me I tried it all save the groupie thing…but even that, tis just a matter of time:)

  6. i actually caught the gist of the story, that groupie thing i am glad i did not participate.


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