when i was dead meat

May 10, 2007 at 9:10 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

like jungle drums, my heart thumped, blood pumping so loudly that the keyboard would have mistaken the vibration as that of fingers pounding on it…i feared… it would gush out through my ears as i stared at the luminous iMac screen…and for once, it ceased to be my every day darling of sterling performance and it was a monster dangerously wielding the "you're fired.." card… i was scared to bits…
behind me, i could still feel the hot breath of my boss and his anger was imminent…
" where, where is the work?"
he said in his usual what-have-you-been-doing-all that time, you fool?, hands open and head tilted in a condescending angle…God..Photoshop was failing me…i had flattened the whole document and he had just spotted a mistake in the work he had approved yester ( and said "yah, this is good. this is good")…
with my trembling fingers, i held the liquid-like mouse and with the 'finder' window open, displaying all the adverts jeez…none seemed to be editable…then i spotted the PDF file and with the charisma of an evangelistic preacher, i yapped loudly,
" ah, PDF in editable…" yaani so confident that it would have made a square triangle out of him
"How?" he barked cynically of course with the usual assumption that PDF is flattened thus no changes can be made…but me ever the discoverous 'geek', had found a function called " type tool..with which u can highlight text n even change it
but wapi…only clicking on the ad…i was met by a stubborn wall, that resisted any changes..
then it all came to me in a thousand different dimensions…yes…a billion thundering typhoons…all i had piled and worked on for the past several weeks had met a dead end…a cold dead end…and so was my job…oh, my God do something like..
" we, niambie ka iko document kama hiyo tuwache ku-waste time, felix!"
i died.alright, i did…
trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrinnnnnnnnnnnng
the phone rang…
may God rest Graham's soul dust in peac an di none piece too( so i cud part his back…if i ever make it to heaven, well, or even hell..), for ever inventing this funny contraption…see, by the time he picked it up, my mind went on the rampage on the quick-thinking super highway…albeit a desperate one, clicking on every document that had any semblance to the roll up( it was a drop down ad)

between the devil and the deep blue sea
mean while, be fore he had arrived, i was swinging on his 'bigger boss' rocking chair while checking my yahoo mail and guyz dont u wonna guess wot i was viewing when he entered..a  naughty FWd with image of animated 'bouncing b**bies..shit…kwanza he swept in..and by the time the mouse was on the sign out it was toooo late so i smashed the minimize button n the window warped n swung to the sidebar…
and all this time i was fighting the thought of him asking to have the firefox window opened…coz angeona mambo, maneno na mazingaombwe..even worse..we!…and ile githaa ali-turn ku- to pick that phone…i closed the window like instinctively..
and he was to deliver his final verdict when the windows( or wotver they call macintosh's ones)  i had clicked randomly…opned..
an hoooray!
it was in the PSD format..quite editable..very,
when i couunt my blessings today…this is definitely one of them!

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4 Comments »

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  1. Wow! Am loving ur new look!
    U seem to be palyin da same games I play with my boss..Brains Encounter Brains..LOL

  2. hehehhehe… Ii ni kali.. nakwambia kuna saa bahati mabya ziutoka na zinaacha tu nikishangaa.. Lakini ni kaa Sir G yuwaga tu amezipangia..

    na naona mabadiliko uku, ama ni maendeleo eh.. Inakaa kali alkini

  3. #klara…n you’re a fool if you lose!
    @mabadiliko mabadiliko, kwa wingi..

  4. How Come I cant comment on ur latest Post??


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