if i ever fall in love

May 9, 2007 at 6:19 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

let me no oh Lord!
or cupid,
stupid cupid for all matters
but still
if i ever fall in love
maybe i will
got to do with the way i feel
if i ever fall in love
i'll don a glove
like wacko
wacko jacko
a pirate flipper,
like a jackal
ha,
but still
if i ever fall in love
maybe someone will
trip me to their will
but al still give them the thrill
sthng that can distill
the way i may feel
coz i just cant chill
can i?
but still if i ever fall in love….
 yah, whatever!
coz if i evr fall in love
let me not oh Lord~
cupid ought
be bought
or shot
so he hits a naught
in my hearts knot………….
  he he he, clearly, poetry aint my calling but the point is taken..thats a script i'd rather be without coz i f i evr fall in love..sniff sniff.. i hope i'll be loved back…am still ever the skeptic in matters close to the heart and love has a totally different meaning in my dic…tionary.
see, so much shit and shenanigans have been thrust under my nose undeservedly and i think am fed up…not exactly…but the hangovers of hurtful whirlwind of romance still linger in my mind and for once, i see the perfect justification to wish somebody gang raped and murdered..ha!
..lust, love, rust and dust…the four or so words that are inseperable, to me…depending on the order they appear, there is always the moment you'd wish lasts forever…
love ashes for one year, ashes for thirty…..
meanwhile, as i nurse my heart..it has actually been broken once and fractured twice…ya, n punctured countless times…n i wonder if there is anything left of it….so, as i apply the disinfectant, silently and painfully in my room..this feeling descends on me…A BITTER SWEET feeling,..
bitter because av been sinned against for long undeservedly….just to be better….
sweet because, am refined!distilled!pure!
am like no other now….disappointments,  devastations even..have eroded trust in my life… i trust no nigger besides me and untrustworthiness bestows upon itself cynicism…positive cynicism(does such a thing exist?it does..)) yah…cynicismis the fuel behind creativity…trying to see things in other dimension, creating paths where non-exist, thinking in the fourth dimension…soaring to unimaginable height with imagination..the highest kite one can i ever fly..
and the good thing? creativity is the wind below my wings…its the fervor that my soul relishes on and thrives…
i'd rather have blood sweat streaming down my face as i burn 'em creative logs, to boil those creative juices…than have flattering whispers, mad rubs and love jerks and hot kisses from a fcuking lying whore…
 truly, my story is a tear jerker for all the wrong reasons…i cant weep over spilt mil, all catties know it may have been poisoned…but that doesn't mean i ignore the past…pursing it is an idle venture, but learning from it is much better..rather, life maybe too short to learn from mistakes…but we all know the past is never gone. ignoring it doesn't make it vanish either. gleaning a road map is the game shot..

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2 Comments »

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  1. sorry for not having told u how to upload the podcast…i dont actually know how…the one i once used was the kind that blogger offers, the audioblog- if you look through the options you can get directions on how to do that- its pretty easy..But i guess u know how to do it now- so maybe i shud ask u??

    nice post btw.. “am still ever the skeptic in matters close to the heart and love has a totally different meaning in my dic…tionary.” – hehehe

  2. thanks Luna 4 the comment…am sorry for the assumptions…i have found this site called podbean.com…where i upload songz then it offers options of embedding them on the blog..n hooray, u get the podcast..


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