kenyan radio:the sounds and non-sense
Comments(3)some radio presenters make me feel like throwing up after a meal.or if am hungry, get that irritating feel you get when you cant ‘mwaura’(vomit) anymore.others have the effect of a cat grating on ironsheet- a wave of discomfort that travels through my system, much to my disgust.
i mean:THEY SUCK. and suck with a passion while at it!
i wonder where the future of radio is with such- but God help us all!
see, sound and sense are related but are different things in the audio package- most have NONE- they suck soundwise and are no where near sense.
radio, i believe is not about dripping the mic with saliva like Abbas Kubaff would say. its about oozing a personality that rides down the audience ears, coming out as real and convincing.it is much more than googled shit . imported accents and twang never authenticate your coolness- we jua you have never been to the real west, are not from westie and the nearest you’ve been to the US of ass is western Kenya. yeah i know, some may have lived ‘dea’ but offloading you twang on innocent ghetto-cured ears comes off as plastic, impository…everything.
corine, of HBoiz, who named her the queen of hiphop when all she does is play crunky crap. whereas i have an option to escape the torture of her ta’ ta’ ta’ ta’…i was surprised the other to discover that she is actually a nyang’ori!
well, i have a long list of personalities i hate and though corine aint one of them, i know many who should, as they say, ‘have listened to their teacher more’ and probably followed a different career path!
Albert Josiah the big ka-ho’-na! nigga, i think its time you got served. i wish you knew the devastating effect ya have on my ears anytime i forget to change stations and your drab nonsense hit my eardrums. daktari man, i have nothing but respect for you, but stick to sticking needles up bottoms of stubborn patients and save us the agony of littering our airwaves, coz like your brother nick odhiambo, you BORING and lack any intimation of life!
the rest of the suckers follow in quick succession, led by one fag-sounding Taylor one thing or the other of Radical Rock Hboiz…yeah, Charles Taylor Murathe- SHOOT YOU! i chocked in distasteful vomit when i accidentally listened to the show yesterday- the thought and voice of you canoodling the mic with such a metrosexual voice makes me think Ryan Seacrest is straight! i mean, boy, my @@@ feels totally insecure with you in control of airwaves. i wouldnt be surprised anyway if you spotted piped jeans, tight leather jackets and stripped shirts and a glassy grey pupils.
well, am not quarter way through and i feel no remorse though, for if getting tortured is one quality that Mc Cain thinks qualifies him to be president of the states, i am also in the race!
but i prefer the politics of haterade and listening to music all day. thus Hot96 comes naturally as a choice…especially for their dj mixes- coz talent is diminishing , or rather LACKING. well, if the future of radio is bestowed with akina Yols, ahem…we got reason to put robots to man the station. That dirty gal of radio with her character that insuniate that she is trapped in that stage of life called KIDULTHOOd- will she ever stop talking about sex????
I aint a bit sorry for getting personal and If anything, we should strap those mics with that Chernobyll product, Polonium 2o, watch as their skin wastes away, like a scene from ’28 days later’.
The rest of y’all little pervs and rascals, you luck space and time is limited. Otherwise the barbed razzlers are still waiting for you.
Nevertheless, there cant kosa some personalities I tolerate. Seanice and Fhareed may top that list for their spontainety and obvious realness- that Fhareed is a farting wart who hides in the arrogant way he treats listeners. Seanice is way niiiiiiiiiiice, wish she was as nice, visagewise, but she is from the Chamapara country, so……..
Chris and Allan, the pornographic couple. At least they are subtle in their handling of this radio content and they somehow flow well. Otherwise, they should save us the agony of listening to their sexual prowess, trust studded or not. We all know the king of sex is out here, ha.
As for Ciku, take busted from her and we see what we left with. Martha Karua without fr. Wamugunda,er I mean law? I think of her highly as a writer ( aint she a pioneer editor of Pulse?) on busted, SatMag…but her assumed intelligence pisses mwah off. One doesn’t achieve intellectual mileage by quoting Shakespearian rags, Cleopatra McAnthony…but it enhances the strength and philosophical rhythm of your story…which she crafts master-fully. Her writing sings.
Finally, G-money, like the G spot, is exclusively for the ladies!
Oh, and Tero, Namtero Mdee, leave the late night shizznit to that cat, La femme Fattal, Nini- she is the ultimate night nurse, the husky voice, content and quality.
Tero is much off better convincing us on magazine covers….
